


You're Like Me

by funhousefreak



Series: Satisfaction (not) Guaranteed [2]
Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Flashback, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Song fic, and so is matt, post edd/tom marriage, tord is just a sad boi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 16:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funhousefreak/pseuds/funhousefreak
Summary: A sort-of sequel to "Satisfied." Tord struggles with romantic feelings for Edd after being rejected and Tom and Edd dating. After years of battling his emotions, he reaches an understanding with his equally-defeated roommate.





	You're Like Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! Boy this has been sitting in my Eddsworld folder for so long. I recently re-read "Satisfied" and forgot how much I liked it. So, I figured I'd post the other parts I'd written!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> CW: implied/referenced sex, unhealthy relationships (not physical/emotional abuse, more like emotional dependency)

            If he had been given the choice, he probably couldn’t have made it. Luckily for him, though, he wasn’t given the choice. He was never even a player.

            Silky smooth lips moved gently against his own, coarser ones. His hand connected with soft skin, pressing lightly against a cheek bone. It lasted much longer in his mind than in actuality. Indeed, the whole scene was much less romantic outside his head. The memory had slowly morphed into a much rosier daydream as the years had gone by, not that Tord really cared. It had still happened, and that’s all that really mattered.

            In reality, the kiss lasted about two seconds. The smooth lips never actually kissed him back. They didn’t even slightly move. The skin had been soft, but the body beneath it was rigid, taken aback. There was nothing remotely romantic about the scene.

            A hand was on his shoulder, pushing him backwards gently. The lips disconnected, or, more accurately, Tord’s lips were forced off. Nervous brown eyes stared back into cheerful blue ones. He couldn’t believe he’d just done that. And holy shit, it’d felt good.

            “Tord…” a small voice started quietly. Tord’s face dropped as the tone of his voice sunk in. _Goddamn it._

            “I-I’m sorry,” the voice stuttered, averting his eyes from his friend’s gaze. “I just…don’t feel the same way.”

            Tord knew that was what he was going to say, but somehow hearing it stung even more. He bit his lip to hold back the tears he felt rising to the surface. He balled his hands into fists, though that didn’t have any greater success than the lip biting. The guilty figure in front of him fiddled with the drawstrings of his green hoodie, keeping his gaze fixated on the floor.

            Then, without warning, Tord sprinted down the hallway, heading for the doorway at the opposite end. Edd didn’t even have the nerve to try and call out to him. There was nothing left to say, nothing to make him feel better. Instead, he just sank to the floor, his back pressed against the wall that Tord had gently pushed him against it.

            Tord opened his eyes to find himself in his living room, his gaze landing on his spinning ceiling fan. Oh, right, he’d fallen asleep on the couch. Matt had decided to go to bed early, just as he had every night since Edd and Tom got married. That left Tord, as always, to revel in his own thoughts.

            He had gotten pretty good at pushing back the thoughts of Edd. He never could dull that memory, though, no matter how many years went by. He’d only been 14, maybe 15, when it happened. This was only a couple months after he’d realized he’d fallen in love with with his best friend. It was about six months after the kiss that they met Tom. That’s when all his hopes and dreams had been dashed.

            He and Edd had been best friends since their earliest school years. They had started as classmates, then moved up to friends on the playground. They had their first sleepovers with each other at age six, where they shared all their secrets. They did everything together from then on: school, sports, clubs. They even spent every holiday together. They were two peas in a pod, and everyone knew it. You couldn’t mess with Edd without invoking the wrath of Tord, and no one could tease Tord about being gay without receiving a jab in the eye from Edd’s sharp drawing pencil.

            Tord was certain he would never have to fear falling in love with Edd. He had avoided it for over a decade—there was no way anything could happen after so long. And then high school came. The boys began to mature, and Tord would be damned if he didn’t admit to enjoying watching Edd go through the process. He got a lot taller when they entered high school, but he still retained some of his chubbiness from childhood. His face got less pudgy, and his muscles developed a bit more.

            The blushing, the weird tingly feeling he felt, the butterflies in his stomach. At first he denied it all, refused to even consider it. And then he couldn’t do it anymore: he’d lie awake at night, thinking about him, fall asleep to dreams of them being together. He knew Edd would never feel the same way as he did, but he couldn’t stop the snowball effect that seemed to be happening. Matt, who they’d befriended a few years beforehand, had noticed Tord’s odd behavior, but refused to say anything. He knew it must be hard enough for him without anyone prying.

            And then, one day, Tord couldn’t hold it in anymore. He let go of all his inhibitions and made a move. Maybe, just maybe, he’d been wrong. Maybe Edd would see how amazing he could be, how amazing _they_ could be, if he just showed him….

            When they met Tom six months later at the start of the new school year, Tord knew Edd had fallen head over heels. The look on his face was exactly the same as the one Tord would get when Edd wasn’t watching. Any small bit of hope he’d been clinging to was destroyed forever. And now all he could do was stand by and watch as Edd and Tom fell deeper in love, while him and Matt died on the inside.

            In a lot of ways, all this insanity made their friendship rather unhealthy. Sure, they all loved spending time together, and they truly did all care about each other deeply. But Tord was protective of Edd, though he refused to show it explicitly. Instead, he was a pain in Tom’s ass in whatever way he could be, and he would pick a fight with the guy about literally anything, no matter how trivial. Matt, on the other hand, grew closer to Tord, and indeed became rather dependent on him as Edd and Tom drifted closer together. That’s how they wound up living together in whatever sort of situation _this_ was. They refused to leave their other friends behind, though, not simply because they cared about them, but because that would mean saying goodbye to the ones they loved more than anything.

            This unhealthiness had transferred over into their adulthood. While Tom and Edd got their lives together and got married, Tord and Matt fell deeper into the rabbit hole. It started with them renting this apartment together. Then…

            Tord closed his eyes as he remembered that night. Sitting on the couch in the dark, watching _Insane Zombie Pirates from Hell III_ when it started. He could never remember how it began, who instigated it. Someone’s hand landed on someone’s knee. Another hand set itself down on a thigh. Soon they were both staring at each other, completely forgetting about the movie behind them. The rest of the night was a blur.

            The next thing Tord remembered was waking up in a dark bedroom. He didn’t know if it was his or Matt’s. Matt was laying next to him, sobbing quietly. He had his back to Tord, probably not wanting to see him after what they’d just done. His back was exposed, and Tord quickly realized he too was shirtless and pant-less. He looked back over at his distraught friend, realizing the gravity of the situation. They had gotten desperate enough to resort to this.

            Unsure of what to do, what boundaries were in place, he gently placed a hand on Matt’s upper back. He wanted to comfort his friend, to show him he understood, but he wasn’t sure where Matt was drawing the line. When Matt didn’t object to his hand, though, he turned over and leaned his forehead against his back. He felt Matt’s chest heaving, the sobs no longer restrained. He threw all caution out the window and threw his right arm around Matt, letting his legs press against his friend’s. They laid that way until they both fell asleep, numb and dead inside.

            The aftermath of that night didn’t deter them, though. They both had seemed to come to the understanding that they needed affection of some sort. They accepted that they were desperate and heartbroken, and they both needed someone. They had their little rendezvouses about once a week from there on out, serving as a type of unhealthy therapy. It was the rawest any of the friends had ever been with each other, even more than Edd and Tom were as a married couple. Matt no longer cried after they finished, just curled up with Tord in acceptance. They never talked about it afterwards, not even after the first time. The guilt was gone, the feelings of helplessness, too. They had each other now, even if they were longing for others the whole time.

            Tord was sure Matt did the same thing he did while they were together. He imagined it was Edd beneath him, moaning and begging for more. He dreamed it was Edd’s soft lips crashing against his own, Edd’s warm tongue searching his mouth, Edd’s teeth biting his lower lip. He swore he even said Edd’s name a few times. Not that it mattered—Matt understood the shallowness of their relationship.  

            That was the beauty of their situation: they both were doing it out of emotional need. They weren’t in love—hell, they weren’t even attracted to each other. They loved their best friends—their best, unattainable friends. They both understood this. For the first time in the existence of their complicated friend group, there was no misunderstanding about where they stood.

            Matt had refused to do anything since Edd and Tom’s wedding. He wouldn’t even allow Tord to touch him. Tord didn’t press him about it—he’d come back in his own time. He didn’t really know how long this would carry on for, both Matt’s reluctance and their situation, but he would just keep going with it until something changed. He would wait…something he was terrible at.

At least Matt was in the same boat. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Keep an eye out for part 3! <3


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